Monday, July 6, 2015

Petition For Postmen

After a nice respite from the rain Fourth of July weekend, we are now experiencing one more hurricane caliber storm.  The poor postman requires a new wardrobe in addition to the summer shorts and pith helmet already in circulation.  I am proposing the following attire in response to the extremely wet conditions that they have had to endure for the past few weeks:

Blue swimming trunks with requisite black stripe.

Adult size blue floaties.

Blue flippers.
 Flip flops optional. Goggle issues are in the works  and will be available shortly.

Friday, July 3, 2015

More Showers Expected Today

After the wettest June on record in our small geographical area of the world, it seems redundant to step into the small glass box in my home and turn on the shower in order to get wet.  Would it not make more sense, in terms of saving water, to simply step outside with my soap and shampoo?

The latest storm was a real drencher with sheets of side-way shower jets hard enough to take the skin off your back.  If you wanted a real pelting, you could stay out for the cold sequence of hail to pummel the knots of your neck. And another bonus of those marble-sized pellets would be to simply hold out a glass to collect for a post-immersion cocktail. 

This tedious weather reminds me of a slogan from years ago during a drought that encouraged the population to save water.  The government slogan "Shower With a Friend" was one suggestion. More recently, "Pee In the Shower" (instead of the toilet) was popular and highly promoted in Brazil, but that's for another story.

The smart thing to do would be to develop and invest in residential rooftop reservoirs.  Seems crazy to drain water from the Mississippi, treat it in facilities, and charge for it!  Certainly no need for irrigation sprinklers right now.  If anything, my garden is drenched by my overflowing pond, in addition to the overhead daily downpours.

Takes me back to a fun and fond memory many years ago of bobbing around the British Virgin Islands; bare boating with some friends while crisscrossing from island to island.  As anyone knows, fresh water on board ship is a valuable commodity, and not to be wasted on long and luxurious showers.  One must rinse off the salt water residue quickly and not linger or languor.

One particular alcohol-fueled night on deck was most unforgettable. After dinner and while enjoying cocktails, a huge head of dark clouds developed on the horizon.  Watching a storm from a distance is like watching an action thriller, but watch out, it's on you before you know it!  We all retired to the cabin to continue our partying, when one particularly astute mate, Susan, had a eureka moment and yelled "Shampoo!"  Not a one of us hesitated to comprehend the brilliance of this exhortation, and all hands were immediately on deck. Clothing was shed as shampoo was administered lavishly, and it was overboard for a thorough rinse, and then on board again for a final rinse with rain. I have to admit, all inhibitions were literally cast aside due to the deprivations we had become so used to over two weeks time. 

The deluge subsided, and we retired, once again below deck to pick up our party where we had left off.  And then...once again, the gentle drops above turned to a full wash cycle.  Susan didn't miss her cue in hollering "Cream Rinse!".  Crew and captain mustered once more to the deck so as to complete a very satisfying outdoor salon session.

So what I would like to suggest, is to make the most of this misery, and take the plunge so to speak.  It could be a fun neighborhood experience; one could also throw in washing the car, the dog, or even the laundry while we're at it! And the streets and sewers will be squeaky clean and fresh smelling to boot. Ahoy, mateys, it's a brave new world!