Sunday, March 20, 2011

A Dog of Flanders and Other Stories

When I arrived at my mother's to take her out to dinner last week, her first words were, "Oh, girl of Flanders, where is your dog?"  I knew instantly that she must have been making a reference to my wearing a new hat that she had not yet seen.  Her memory is remarkable for all sorts of strange accumulation, and I was sure that she was accurate in her illustration recall.  I pealed in laughter at her literary connection to my wardrobe.  My mother has advanced glaucoma, so I am astonished that she can see any detail at all!  Her mind, however is quite sharp.


When I got home, I pulled out my copy of A Dog of Flanders just to see how accurate her memory was.


She was spot-on correct!  Old Jehan Daas has on my hat, or I his, whichever way you want to see it. 

 

This then inspired me to dress up in my hat, a peasant type blouse, black pants, vest, and the wooden shoe (singular) that I found in the alley last year.  Here I am with Chewbacca, otherwise known as Chewy, surely the cutest dog in the world (Hollywood take note, because he is getting up in years).  He is striking a proud pose as THE Dog of Flanders.  At a strapping 65 pounds, he could surely pull a cart if he was so inclined to do.  Usually, he just pulls on the leash. Like the dog, Pastrache, who was abandoned,  I found Chewy as a puppy at a shelter.  He had been found wandering in an alley.  Oh, I would have adopted all his siblings, too, if I could have!

As my mother and I proceeded down the hall, I told her that I had just bought a new pair of shoes to wear for my third speech with Toastmasters.  She responded, "What good will the shoes be on your feet, if the audience can't see them?  Why not put them on your ears instead?  Then they can see them!"


Again, I knew she must be making a literary reference to a favorite childhood book, Little Black Sambo. I remember being fascinated at how the tigers  ran around the tree so fast that they turned into butter that was then used to make an enormous pile of pancakes, striped orange and black just like the tigers.


 I couldn't wait to see what the new shoes would look like on my ears.  Using a headband that my daughter, Emily, had concocted for some costume or other served as the tiger reference.  I think that the shoes would have to hang on my ears toes down, because my ears don't stick up like tiger ears do.  Charlie Sheen take note! 

My mother and I continued down the hall singing "Here We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder..." She can remember the lyrics to innumerable songs, poems, plays, and prayers.  I treasure every moment with her and marvel at how did I end up being as I am with her as my mother?


Well, I got fixated on dress-ups, never mind that I was no longer a child, but in spirit, YES!  Another recent purchase was a pair of high black leather boots.  What literary connection could that be other than pirates and swashbucklers?  As the only upbeat story of this trilogy, I thought of Puss In Boots, because that way, I could star one of my cats.


I had wanted to have Simon in this photo shoot, but he was prowling the neighborhood.  Howard, in his usual nap at home, was roused, and recruited.


Here we are, my mother and I, celebrating my recent birthday.  We always precede dinner with martinis, straight up, one olive. And may we have many, many more!  There are so many stories to share. 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Time Wounds All Heels

This was a fun art exhibit; one at which you could laugh out loud.  In describing his intent, the founder and director, Matthew Strauss said, "Very often, I'll go into an exhibition and see an isolated artwork and wonder if it was intended to be funny.  Usually it's not.  The humor is inadvertent.  But the frequency of that question in my mind - 'Is this supposed to be funny?  Is this a joke?' - led me to think it might be an idea for an exhibition."  The piece below was a large banner on the front of the gallery.  Given that White Flag Projects is a city gallery in a sketchy part of town, the text message was especially provocative.


Untitled Text Msg (Vicodin), 2010
Adam McEwen
inkjet print on vinyl, 154 x 154 inches
Courtesy the artist and Nicole Klagsbrun Gallery, New York

Matthew says, "We've gone out of our way to select the most ambiguous, the most confusing, the most difficult-to-understand (pieces). I think that it results in a really cohesive and appropriately confused exhibition. I'm very happy with the results." I was, too!!!


Opening nights are always special, and I chose the right outfit:  tutu and combat boots!


There was a good crowd turn-out for the group show that also included artists Donelle Woolford, Jane Hammond, Edward Lipski, Richard Prince, Michael Williams, Jaime Pitarch, Erwin Wurm, and John Baldessari.


This piece was a compilation of household cleansing products. The spiral starts with the Big Bang and ends with the emergence of humans.

Theory of Evolution, 2009
Jaime Pitarch
Mixed media sculpture, 89 x 89 x 19 inches
Courtesy Spencer Brownstone Gallery, New York ($18,000)

  Here the dinosaurs make their appearance, but are snuffed out by the comet.

Nose/Silhouettes, 2010
John Baldessari
lithograph and screenprint
6 variants, 18 inches x 14 inches each, edition of 50
Courtesy Gemini G.E.L., Los Angeles ($2,500)

A nose job.  This would be a good piece for a plastic surgeon's office.  Or maybe behind a perfume counter.

Who knows whose nose this is?

There were two special events held.  One was a reading by poet and humorist Jeremy Sigler, and stand-up comedy by Comedians You Should Know. At the stand-up comedy session, there were whoopee cushions on each seat like a party favor. Wouldn't it have been funny if they had all been blown up and everyone was instructed to sit down at the same time? I love shaking up the sanctity of the art gallery and museum! It was very well-attended; 200 people showed up. Goes to show that humor and art are a great combination.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Designing Dinosaur


Quick! What's the first technological invention?

Let Dino the dinosaur put you to the test!

Dino

If you guessed either the wheel or fire, you're right!  It's unclear what came first.


Roll Fire
Conmoto and Sieger Design
Ameico

 Now you can have your cake and eat it, too, with this portable fireplace.  It has tempered glass so that you can see through; how cool is that? And an added bonus is that you can hang it on the wall.  All for $3800, it measures 25.5" diameter x 9" wide. I think it is a bargain as you can take it with you wherever you move, whether cave or castle.

Lascaux Cave, France

Who hasn't been fascinated with caves?  I've always enjoyed exploring caves and it was one of the highlights of my life to visit this prehisotoric cave a few years ago.  Although we're about 35,000 years beyond the cave dwellers of Lascaux (65 million years since the dinosaurs), I feel an affinity for cave decor. Must be the collective unconscious that Carl Jung described.  Whether I'm dragging home a tree stump or a rock to use as furniture, I enjoy making connections with our pre-history. Caves are regarded as places of safety, security and refuge. They can also be mysterious, unexplored parts of ourselves, awaiting personal discovery. 

Maartje Lammers
Interior Design

Here's a contemporary interpretation of the cave as refuge. It has a nice, organic feeling, not a straight line in sight!  I like the 1948 Charles and Ray Eames chairs, but personally I can do without the animal furs.  I think faux throws and animal print fabrics are more politically correct in this day and age.

Petrified Wood
Various sizes
Hudson

Tree stumps are always good for a natural connection with Mother Earth.  These would be a nice foil to both antique and contemporary furniture pieces.

Renee Celeste Flanders
Interior Designer
I like to design with logs, sticks, bones and cast-off horns. I also am a rock hound. Let's just say I am a graduate of the School of Rock and Roll.  Actually the "rock" on this table is called slag, a by-product of coal. There is a chunk of white marble below the windows, and on top of the sideboard, do you see the three black rocks? Surprise - they are Styrofoam! I carved and sprayed them with faux granite paint. They defy the rules of physics!

Renee Celeste Flanders
Interior Designer

It seemed like the right thing to put rocks in the fireplace for a textural look.  They're hot glued onto a board that can be removed when the winter season sets in and you want an actual fire.


While we're on the subject of cave-inspired interiors, I must mention hammocks.  If space allows in a bedroom or family room, do consider including this indescribably relaxing invention.  It can hang nicely against the wall as a soft sculptural element when not in use.  This is always a very popular item for a teenager's room.

Third Chinese horse
Painting on rock.  Black pigment: manganese oxide.
Lascaux Cave, Motignac, Dordogne, France

Of course, we must not forget the art.  One would expect to see this level of artistry in the Louvre.  Have we really come so far?  It's hard to do better than those artists of 35,000 years ago!  Makes me want to do some paintings on my masonry basement walls.  Who knows what iconographic or metaphorical images might present themselves?  I would start with vine charcoal, a slender twig that never fails to put me in touch with my primitive relatives from so long ago!

Pablo Picasso

Picasso has a style that reminds me of the cave paintings. Lyrical and beautiful renditions of animals.

Lepanto I
Cy Twombly
1996
One of three cardboard plate engravings printed as monoprints on Japanese paper
28.4"  x 20.1"
Edition by Julie Sylvester

Twombly is another artist that comes to mind when I think of cave art.  His scratchings and gestural expressionism are epic narratives of ancient myths.  End of story:  let's not limit ourselves when  designing our homes and businesses. Try getting in touch with your inner caveman for some truly enduring design and rock on!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Horrible Cat Howard


In reference to the Dec. 28, 2010 blog Of Pencils and Pianos: I have a new update. Howard the cat has necessitated making some changes.  He is always causing trouble of some sort.  My mother calls him Dennis the Menace, and for good reason.  He is always into some sort of mischief. 

Exhibit "A"

The Tether Technique of Tying a Pencil to Your Piano recommended by my tuner, Al Moles, has been successful in preventing wayward pencils from being swallowed up by the piano. I had originally used a red string, to match the errant red pencil, but Howard the cat did some flossing and bit the string in two.


Thus, it came time to be the designer that I am and color coordinate the string and pencil to the room accordingly.  I have to say I have grown fond of the leashed pencil.  I never lose it now and it makes me laugh!


This handsome black pencil with black eraser, complements of Holly Hunt, fit the bill nicely.  Twine in a natural color from the basement workroom meant I didn't have to go shopping. 

Howard playing Music for Marcel Duchamp

There are times that I have been in another room of the house and heard harmonic and dissonant chords being played.  It is the kitten on the keys.  My other cat, Simon, has no interest in playing, but Howard has a some real potential channeling composers such as John Cage.


My tuner, Al Moles, warns me though, that he has heard stories of cats sharpening their claws on the felts, both under the strings and on the hammers.  Now THAT would be a CATastrophe!  I always keep the top closed to prevent that from happening.  But if I'm playing, Howard has a way of jumping up to play if I leave for a break or whatever. 

Exhibit "B"
Paul L. Jansen and Son
artist bench in leather (not vinyl!)
 I bought this artist bench when I bought the piano.  The cats never touched it.  One day, however, six years later, I heard the distinctive sound of cat clawing.  I rushed in to the living room to find Howard doing his dastardly deed on the bench. I was horrified, but fortunately I caught him before he did any real damage.  You can see a few "pin pricks" on the leather, and I hate that it's not perfect anymore, but what can you do?  Now I have to remember to put sheet music on the bench when it is not in use, to prevent any more damages.  Cats!  You can love them and hate them, but I can't live without them!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Blue Monday

Untitled by Yves Klein
dry pigment in synthetic polymer on cotton over plywood
6'  4   7/8"  x  55   1/8"
1961

I heaved a collective sigh of relief when I read I wasn't alone in feeling a little blue. British psychologist Cliff Arnall calls Blue Monday the most miserable day of the year. The jury is out as to whether it hit on January 17th or the 24th. Since the 17th was a national holiday, I was still enjoying the mental freedom of the weekend and it didn't hit me until the 18th, but I take some comfort that I was still pretty much on schedule with the general public! I just woke up and felt out of sorts. There wasn't anything in particular that was depressing me; it was your basic  melancholy and ennui.  Couldn't put my finger on what the malaise was all about until I read an article about the phenomenon.  Arnall attributes it to the end of the year let-down, when the excitement of Christmas and New Years are past, when the bills are coming in, it's cold, the phone isn't ringing, and New Year resolutions are falling by the wayside already. It was somehow comforting to know that I wasn't alone in feeling despondent; that it was all part of being human!


Blue Monday by Carolyn Brown
oil on canvas
5' x 6'
1982

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Loo With a View

I once had a client who was a urologist. When we got to doing his bathroom, it seemed like an obvious idea to put in Plexiglas wall panels to house the bathroom plumbing.  He loved it and felt right at home being able to see the inner machinations.  Bathroom design is always fun to do because it's a small room with only a few basic requirements. Inspiration can be found all around us for pushing the envelope and creating thought-provoking design.  Out of thin air, so to speak, what about designing an outdoor restroom facility for the public?


"Don't Miss a Sec"
exterior
Monica Bonvicini
2003

This is such a beautifully elegant concept:  it reflects everything and is practically invisible. Not exactly your typical  Johnny On the Spot, but an architectural gem - actually an art piece originally displayed across from the very respectable Tate Britain in London. It's entitled "Don't Miss a Sec" because the artist, Monica Bonvicini,  was playing with the idea that art opening attendees hated to miss out on any of the opening night excitement by having to use the restroom. By using one-way glass for a free-standing restroom, no one could see in, but the person inside could see out and not miss any of the event.  Now THAT is thinking outside of the box!

"Don't Miss a Sec"
interior
Monica Bonvicini
2003
There is a lot more to this conceptual art piece than meets the eye.  The artist took into consideration its historical location, which was a 19th century prison facility. Architect Jeremy Bentham proposed a wheel-like prison design that would allow the warden to watch the prisoners without them knowing that they were being watched.  Then again, prisoners don't have any privacy in their cells today for their toilet functions, do they? It was never built, but Bentham's ideas of constant surveillance were fodder for Bonvicini's inspirations.  The use of a stainless steel prison toilet and sink combo makes sense with this information; it's not just a stylish and practical solution. Furthermore, Bonvicini made this a perfectly functioning port-o-potty, but it apparently didn't get many takers!

Are you brave enough to step into this bathroom?

Here we have another example of brain twisting.  The story going around was that it was a 10th floor apartment with a painted floor.  Definitely good for a laugh, but again you have to be very brave.  Actually, it is a manipulated photograph for a photo contest; not to say you can't photo-screen a print onto any floor, ceiling or wall to get the same effect. Since antiquity, various cultures have painted sky ceilings or murals to suspend belief that the flat surface is not what it appears to be.  This idea just takes that concept a little bit further.

Powder Room
Renee Celeste Flanders
2007

Just as Alice stepped into the looking glass, how about stepping in to a 3-dimensional painting? Have the bathroom be an extension of a work of art - the results will be magical!  In this case, the inspiration for me came from the print of a vase of flowers.  I suggested painting the walls "like the painting".  I sketched the lines on the wall, took the color scheme from the print, made a few other rhymes, and "Voila"!  The room never fails to evoke the "Wow" response from visitors.  

Moral of this story:  Bathrooms can be more than just pretty rooms. 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Hot Winter Story


There's nothing like a good oxymoron!  What with the cold winter temperatures, it is pleasant to recall the warmth of summer. Sometimes, though, the summer is a bit too warm, and then we fantasize about cooler weather and the cycle begins anew. 

As a designer, I strive to give the best customer service that I can.  Most of the time, the behind-the-scenes hassles I shield from my clients.  I don't wish to distract them with all that is distressing about this business; that is what they are paying me for!  But sometimes we designers have experiences that are ridiculous and border on the absurd.  This past summer, at the height of a heat wave, one such incident occurred (that I hope is not too incriminating) and the evidence is as follows:
Exhibit "A"

Ordering a simple fiber board table to be covered with a cloth seemed simple enough.  I ordered one from a local supplier and picked it up, unassembled.  My client didn't think it would be an easy job, but I, with my Fortune Interiors background, knew my way around a hammer and a screwdriver!  I assured the client that I would take care of it and that it would be all assembled that very day.
Yours truly, in the middle, with some of my colleagues high in the rafters of our shop at Fortune Interiors.  We were a team of artists employed by Mark Twain Bancshares to design and fabricate the furnishings for the multiple bank branches.  Our artwork was also purchased by the bank and put on display.
.
Arriving with my tool box, I let myself in to the home and headed to the guest room, where the table was to be installed.  Having been told by the store that it was a simple task that "anyone" could do, I imagined I would be out in a half-hour.  I unpacked the parts and laid everything out for assembly.  For some reason the air-conditioning was off, and to my horror, I started to get sweaty.


As I was planning to go out immediately following this little task, I was dressed in a nice skirt and top.  Not wanting to appear in the evening as a drenched dish rag, there was only one thing to be done.  Close the bedroom door and be prepared to yell  "don't come in"  if anyone came home early!



Exhibit "B"

As I glued, hammered, and screwed, I felt that not just anyone could put this table together in the proper manner!  I had years of training to do it just right! Midway through the assemblage, the thought entered my mind that I had never done any carpentry quite like this and it was fairly comical. About one hour later, I got the job done, as promised, and packed up to leave for a well-deserved martini.  I marveled to myself what lengths I go to please my clients!